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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26992525">nightmares</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightmare_insomnia/pseuds/Nightmare_insomnia'>Nightmare_insomnia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Renegades - Marissa Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:47:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26992525</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightmare_insomnia/pseuds/Nightmare_insomnia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nova Artino | Nightmare/Adrian Everhart | Sketch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nightmares</h2></a>
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    <p>Nova wanted to sleep. She was exhausted, her body ached, and her mind felt empty. But every time she closed her eyes, images of the cathedral flashed through her mind. She heard the clang of metal, Adrian’s screams as Honey cut into his flesh, the buzzing of thousands of wasps and hornets as they swarmed around her, the stingers penetrating her skin, venom coursing through her veins. </p><p>Nova threw off the covers, letting them tumble to the floor as she stood up, stumbling through the dark to the bathroom. She ran her hands through her hair, glaring at her reflection and the dark circles under her eyes. She groaned, closing her eyes and leaning against the wall, slowly sliding down until she was huddled on the floor, her head on her knees. </p><p>
  <em> Bang.  </em>
</p><p>A tear slipped down her cheeks and Nova clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. She tried to think of anything else, <em> anything </em> to make the gunshots go away. </p><p>
  <em> Bang. </em>
</p><p>She whimpered, more tears streaming down her cheeks as the images of her mother’s blood splattered on the walls flashed across her vision. The dull thump of her father’s body hitting the floor, Evie’s silenced cries, the long hours of desperate whispers and tears, waiting for someone to come. <em> Anyone.  </em></p><p>
  <em> Bang.  </em>
</p><p>The blood-splattered walls of her childhood apartment were replaced with the crumbling walls of the funhouse, dust and smoke filling her lungs. The smooth metal of the trigger under her finger, the recoil of the gun, Ingrid’s head snapping back, her body crumpling to the ground. </p><p>She was shaking, openly sobbing as every traumatic memory was brought to light again. Her training with the Anarchists, every scar and injury. Ingrid screaming at her every time she missed a shot. Phobia following her through the tunnels, plaguing her with her worst fears. The hours spent in solitude during the battle for Gatlon, only interrupted by Honey as they fled. </p><p>The scythe slicing through Callum’s abdomen, his blood splattering the seats. Winston throwing himself in front of her, intercepting the projectile meant for her. How many people had died for her? Because of her?</p><p>Max’s blood on her hands, his face growing paler by the minute as ice coated his skin. Holding Adrian as he cried, guilt twisting in her stomach as she stared into the dark eyes of the helmet. </p><p>The long hours in Cragmoor, staring at the walls of her tiny prison, knowing that she had failed, unable to sleep, trapped in her own mind. Adrian staring at her in betrayal, his hand clasped around her bracelet, her one connection to her family. Knowing deep in her heart as she kissed Adrian on the docks after her release that she was living the same lie all over again. </p><p><em> Adrian.</em> </p><p>She needed him. Pulling herself up, she stumbled through her dark apartment to her phone. Her fingers shook as she dialed his number, her breaths coming out in sharp gasps, as she shakily raised the phone to her ear. </p><p>Adrian picked up almost immediately.</p><p>“Hey, Nova! I was just-” A wave of relief coursed through her at his voice.</p><p>“Can you come over? Now? I need you.” </p><p>“Of course, sweetheart. I’m already on my way over. Is everything okay? Do you need me to stay on the phone?” </p><p>“How long?” Tears welled up in her eyes again, threatening to spill over. She squeezed her eyes shut, sliding down the wall. </p><p>“2 minutes.” His breathing was ragged, and she could hear the faint pounding of footsteps. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”</p><p>“Please hurry?” </p><p>“I just got to the building, I’ll be up in a minute.” </p><p>She hung up, curling into herself and letting the phone fall to the floor beside her. She focused on her breathing and waited for Adrian’s knock on the door. </p><p>True to his word, a minute later a knock sounded against her door. Nova raised her head a fraction of an inch and called for him to come in, her voice raspy. </p><p>“Nova? Is everything okay?” He stopped when he saw her huddled on the floor, her head on her knees, arms wrapped around herself. </p><p>“Oh, sweetheart. Come here.” He held out his arms, his fingers brushing against hers. She slowly raised her head, looking into his deep brown eyes. They were filled with sympathy and worry and something that Nova couldn’t quite place. She scooted towards him, leaning against his chest as his arms wrapped around her, sighing in relief. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” </p><p>She shook her head, hiding her face in his sweater. His arms tightened around her and she signed. He kissed the top of her head, whispering “I love you” against her hair. </p><p>“They came back.” She whispered, the tears beginning to fall again. “The nightmares.” </p><p>“I’m here. Nothing will touch you as long as I’m here.” </p><p>A sob tore at the back of her throat. “Why is there always so much blood? It’s always there. The gunshots, they’re always there. Why won’t they go away?” Her voice broke, the tears she had held back all this time finally spilling over in full. She wept into his sweater, not caring about the spot she was leaving against the fabric. Adrian held her, rubbing her back as she cried. He laced their fingers together with his other hand, rubbing his thumb along the side of her hand. </p><p>After a few minutes, he stood, with Nova still in his arms. </p><p>“Bed or couch?” He asked. </p><p>“Bed.” She mumbled against his sweater.</p><p>Adrian carried her to her bedroom, laying her gently on the bed. He kissed her forehead, brushing her hair out of her face. </p><p>“Do you want me to stay?” </p><p>Nova held out her arms and Adrian settled in beside her, letting her hold him how she wanted, and when she was comfortable, wrapped his arms around her. </p><p>“I won’t let anyone hurt you. You’re safe with me,” he whispered in her ear, kissing the tears from her face. </p><p>Nova sighed, listening to Adrian’s heart, counting the beats until her eyes closed of their own accord and she drifted off to sleep. </p>
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